


Carry Me Home(Discontinued)

by GayDepressedAsian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Author with no soul, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IDGAF!!, If I get names or personalities wrong, Just be cautioned, M/M, Might be a bit gorey, Or implied sexual content, Perhaps a nosebleed somewhere here or there, There might be minor sexual content, There will be major plot twist, You Have Been Warned, fluffy fluff fluff, idk yet, might get angst, oh yeah, we'll have to wait and see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 10:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayDepressedAsian/pseuds/GayDepressedAsian
Summary: DIRK STRIDER lost his memory the moment the a car had sped down the road swerving into a sidewalk, nearly killing him. He doesn't remember a thing. Not even his name. It's up to JAKE ENGLISH, his boyfriend, to make up for their lost memories and soon, Carry him Home.





	1. Try Not To Die, Almost Die Kinda Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [5ylph_0f_H34r7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ylph_0f_H34r7/gifts).



Your name is....wait...what was your name. Shit, you can't remember. What day was it? Who are you? Questions fill you mind as your eyes vaguely scan over your surroundings. A hospital, that's where you were. The blank white walls gave you an uneasiness. A tray of gross looking untouched food lay on a table beside you. As well as fresh daisies. So, what were you doing here?  
A nurse decked out in the blue uniforms walked in. You studied her for a bit. She had this strange pattern running down her arms, her hair was black and was tied in a odd shaped bun. Though she was extremely beautiful, you looked away.  
"Go+o+d Mo+rning Dirk." She said. You nodded, "Morning." You replied. Your name was DIRK STRIDER...you think.  
"Remember anything?" She pulls up a chair next to your bedside.  
"Remember what?" You ask confused as hell with everything.  
"The crash? Yo+ur life? Anything." She took out a clipboard and waited for your response.  
"What crash? Who am I? Why am I here?" You begin to panic with everything being dropped in your lap without warning.  
"Dirk, do+ yo+u remember a perso+n named, Jake English?" She drops her tone. You blinked. JAKE ENGLISH...nothing...absolutely nothing. There wasn't any sense of familiarity with that name.  
"Uh, no, should I?" You reply. She scribbles something on the clipboard with that messy doctor handwriting and nods.  
"I have so+me bad news and so+me go+o+d news, Dirk." She says calmly.  
"Bad news is, yo+u're suffering fro+m severe amnesia, but with therapy, yo+u might be able to+ get yo+ur memo+ries back." The nurse just flat out explained it.  
"Okay." Was all you could really say. What more could you do. Amnesia...memory loss...what in the world did you lose?  
And who the hell was Jake English???


	2. Save Me Before I Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears. Heartbreak. Unkempt promises. Still. In. The. End. You. Will. Always. Love. Him. No. Matter. What

Dirk ===> Who is Jake English? 

The nurse promised to return with a guest waiting in the lobby. You didn't expect this guest to be freaking gorgeous.  
"I'll leave yo+u tw+o alo+ne." She smiles and walked out. Confused and almost in a trance, you stare at this handsome creature at your bedside.  
His hair was messy, and a carmel brown. Beyond his square shaped glasses you can see big bright green eyes. He looked sad. You attempted to picture how cute he was if he had a smile on his face.  
"Uh, hey Dirk. The nurse said...uh, you didn't remember me." He hesitated before going on. You just kept staring at him, his accent was absolutely adorable.  
"Is that true? Do you know who I am?" He asked, trying to keep a solid face. You swore a tear escaped down his perfect cheeks.  
There was a tug in your heart.  
"I'm sorry." Was all you can say.  
The man choked a sob then suddenly wrapped his arms around your neck, pulling you closer to him. It was strange. His touch felt so warm, and soft. But...you didn't know who he was.  
He quickly stepped back, his face stained red with embarrassment, "I am so sorry..." he said. You smiled, "It's okay, so...uh, careto introduce yourself?" You asked. He looked away, calming himself down before returning his attention back to you.  
"I'm Jake English, this may sound a bit awkward but, I was your boyfriend...before..the crash." He turned red again and half smiled.  
If it was anyone else you wouldn't have been affected, but this Jake English fellow...he was something else.  
"I can maybe see why. You seem like a good person, Jake English." You reply, smirking.  
It was then, Jake English turned extremely red.  
"The nurses said you're free to leave today...I was supposed to take you to Roxy's house. She and Jane planned an entire celebration." Jake said quickly changing the subject.  
Oh, that's wonderful, a place full of strangers.  
"Wonderful." You said unenthusiasticly.  
"Well, Dirk. It's time to go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates randomly. See ya then My fellow peeps and freaks.


	3. I Guess I Should Start Socializing Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a mess...a big hot mess. Completely destroyed. Good luck surviving, and pray to God you don't lose your sanity this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst, another episode is here.

Dirk===> Surprise? 

ROXY LALONDE.   
There was a name you remembered vaguely. You remembered the name not the person. Jake warned you of all the glorious people coming to see you in your behalf of creating new memories and lasting friendships.   
Socializing was definately not your thing. You had severe social anxiety that's for sure. You didn't want to tell that to Jake, because he seemed boiling with excitement the moment you left the hospital.  
"Okay, okay, calm down Jake, it's barely even noon yet." You tried to reason for his incredibly cute impatience.   
"I'm sorry, you've in a coma for a few weeks...I guess I might've went a bit crazy planning your return party." He said embarrassed.   
You might not remember him exactly but God you're falling in love.   
"It's fine...I'm not a fan of..." You trailed off, trying to hide the fact you ever said that. You didnt admit your fears to anyone. Fear is a weakness.   
Jake didn't seem to notice.   
The ride to Roxy's house was quite short, then maybe twelve minutes had passed before Jake pulled the jeep into a crowded driveway.   
God fucking wonderful...oh how you hated people. A thin woman with short curled white hair leaped out of the open window..yeah the window...and ran to the jeep.   
Slowly you stepped out and was tackled by the woman...she was beautiful, unlike the nurse in the hospital, this lady was gorgeous...well almost as gorgeous as Jake that is.   
"Roxy! He bloody just got back from the hospital, wanna put him in a body bag next?!" You hear Jake say. Your heart felt warm, the pumpkin was standing up for you. How sweet.   
"He's a Strider Jakey, he can handle a little wrestle." You take a closer look at the woman...she was drunk.   
Not like the normal drink till you start crying for no apparent reason, she seemed beyond that point and has no care in the world kinda drunk.   
"It's fine. Can you uh please just uh get off?" You try to sit up. She giggles and pulls herself to her feet, staggering in her six inch heels...how do women do it?   
"The pawty, we couln't wait so we started without you Dirky." She giggles some.more and hobbles inside.   
"Sorry Dirk, Roxy she can be a bit...much, but she's a good person." Jake helps you up, which nearly gave you a heart attack because you stumbled and he caught you. He. Caught. You!!   
Your cheeks stain red, and you were thankful his back was turned.   
"Well mate, shall we go meet some new people?" Jake offered you his elbow which you gladly took and walked you to the front door before letting you inside.


	4. Hello, my name is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decided to commit suicide.   
> Its final. NO TURNING BACK...  
> But then..there's Jake English........  
> You have some major thinking to do tomorrow.

Dirk===> Hello...I hate your shirt. 

The house wasn't as full as Jake promised which was a relief in itself.   
The house was decorated with a bunch of wild colors and different sorts of flags and symbols. What the hell?   
"Dirk!" A short blonde haired teenager almost tackled you like Roxy did, this time you were prepared.   
"Hey Dave!" Finally someone you recognize.   
"you are an ass you know that" he pushes you away. "Aww, I see someone is starting to care." You ruff up his hair and recieved a bunch of snacks and curses.   
So, who else do you remember?   
Not him..not her...not them...maybe?....nope...You were surrounded by unknown figures.   
Your social anxiety suddenly kicks in and you start to lose focus, your lungs begging for air. Then a warm hand grips yours tightly. You snap out of your anxiety attack.   
"You never liked parties. I'm sorry for helping throw this big one when I knew you wouldn't like it." Jake said ashamed.   
"You have nothing to worry about, Jake. I'm fine." You kiss his hand as if it was instinct.   
"Glad you're back." another slender white blonde haired woman said. She looked younger than Roxy. "You probably wouldnt remember me, I'm Rose." She extended a hand. You shook it quickly and nodded.   
ROSE LALONDE.   
Beside Rose stood a tall woman with short black hair. Her face was monotone and almost bored looking. She looked familiar.   
"Hello Dirk, My Name Is Kanaya, Please To Make Your Acquaintance." She said. You half smiled already feeling the awkwardness fall upon you.   
"DIRK!" a short girl leaped onto your back. What the fuck is wrong with people jumping on you?!   
"NEPETA!" A high pitched voice said behind. You already know you didn't like this kid.   
"Sorry Karkat. :3" she climbed off of your back but kept smiling.   
KARKAT VANTAS.   
"DIRK, GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK AND HEALTHY AGAIN." Karkat grinned. What the actual..?   
"Karkat was worried about you." The girl named NEPETA LEIJON said. She was wearing a ridiculous blue hat and a long green trenchcoat and her hair was curled at the ends.   
"I WAS NOT NEPETA." Karkart insisted. Nepeta just laughed.   
Rose suddenly coughed and excused herself, Kanaya following her heels. Why was everything too awkward?   
Suddenly there was a crash of glass followed by a roar of laughter.   
"Uh no..." Jake rushed to the south end of the house, you following after a few seconds.   
"Roxy? Jane? What the hell?" Jake asked. The two were on the counter screaming, a shattered plate lay on the floor beneath them. Roxy was laughing into Jane's shoulder.   
"JAKEY! I'm so scared!" Jane shrieked. You felt a nagging need to hold Jake's hand around this girl named JANE CROCKER....  
"What's wrong?" Jake asked.   
"I-I saw a mouse."   
Roxy roared with laughter falling off the counter thankfully away from the broken glass and onto the floor.   
"A mouse? Where?" Really? Really? You begin to question your sanity and to why you hung out with these people.   
Both girls pointed to the island counter.   
"I heard the word mouse?" Nepeta said, which scared the living daylights out of you.   
"NO, NEPETA, YOU CAN'T EAT THE MOUSE." Karkat said softly.   
The strange cat girl looked a bit down but didn't make an approach on the island.   
"I volunteer Dirk to catch it." Jake smiled and nudged your arm. Was Jake afraid of mice? He didn't seem like it.   
"Why me?" You asked.   
"Cause I love you?" He kissed your cheek which made you blush slightly.   
"GET A ROOM." Karkat hollared.   
You just smiled.   
It was confirmed, you love this Jake English.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates Randomly, hey two chapters one day. *gasp!*


	5. You Shouldn't Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You hated this man in front of you. Hate was not a strong enough word to describe the awfulness you felt towards him.  
> His stupid smile, and fucking sideburns....you wanted to punch him in the face...kill him...no wait....  
> "Hello, Dirk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating again. 
> 
>  
> 
> I need a life
> 
>  
> 
> XD
> 
>  
> 
> Seriously though I need a life...

Dirk====> Eat. Sleep. Repeat

You didn't get to eat. You barely got any sleep. And there was no time to repeat...it was very disappointing.  
Let's just say after being tackled to death and mouse hunting your energy level was low as it can be.  
Everyone besides the Roxy, Jake, Jane, and Dave left to live their own lives, having a hugging war with you in the middle.  
Collapsing on the surprising comfortable sofa in the living room, you close your eyes only to be greeted by the loud banging of the front door being slammed open then closed. You open your left eye to see a remarkably familiar figure hovering over you. You roll your eyes.  
You got to be kidding me right now.  
"Hello, Dirk." The man's voice was chilling. And the entire atmosphere in the room shifted from light to heavily dark.  
"Bro." You replied flatly.  
"Wake up from your little nap did we?" He asked. You smirk, "Didn't cry too much while I was away huh Bro?" You shot right back at him.  
"David. Roxy. Jane....Jake." Bro's eyes rested upon Jake for awhile before returning back to you. What the hell was that? Did he have a problem with your boyfriend?  
Jake acknowledged Bro's dislike in him and looked away.  
Aw Hell no. If Bro has a problem with Jake, he has a problem with you as well.  
"So, how's your memory?" Bro asked suddenly.  
"Why the fuck do you care?" You snapped.  
"Is it not it an older brother's job to care for their siblings?" He replied evenly.  
You snorted, "Since when?" You chuckled.  
"Dirk, just answer the forsaked question." Bro sighed. You smirked again, "My memory's shot." You simply say.  
"He has severe amnesia, the doctor filled him in on close family, but he can't remember much." Jane explained, stepping a half step closer to Jake, and placing a hand on his shoulder.  
You felt a tad bit of jealousy and overprotectiveness towards Jake and smile up at him. Jane's hand dropped.  
"You don't remember anything?" Bro asked relieved.  
"Depends on what anything inquires." You say and swore Bro turned pale.  
What was he hiding?  
"I'll be back tomorrow, perhaps I can fill you in more. Take care Dirk. Don't let the lights go out." He said and walked out of the house without looking back.


	6. The Past Before The Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bro is a jerk. A liar. And a thief. But you never expected this from him. This was too much..this was....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yay, another update. You must feel special!😊

Jake===>Why did he come here? 

You knew Bro didn't like you. But to show up here uninvited and do that to Dirk? You wanted to punch him.   
Dirk started at the door for a few seconds before looking at Dave and Roxy who avoided his gaze.   
"I have a feeling you're not telling me something." He said. To be honest you didn't even know the whole story yet. Roxy, Dave, Jane, and Bro refused to tell you.   
"Uh...you see..." Roxy trailed up. Dirk sat up straight, "What?" He asked firmly.   
Roxy sighed and closed her eyes, "It's not the prettiest story..." she admitted.   
"What did I do?" He questioned.   
You wanted to run, but your feet were planted in place. You place a hand on Dirk's shoulder.   
"Well...you see it happened around a month ago..." 

Esactly Four weeks ago  
Dirk====> Drink until you drop

You wanted to. You wanted to forget everything. You chug another glass of alcohol and wave the cup at the pretty barista. "Another round?" She asked.   
She was pretty.   
You missed Jake. She poured your glass and you leaned back in your seat, "Life's fucked up isn't it." You cough.   
She smiled but didn't reply. You feel someone slid into the seat next to you, but you didn't care to look up.   
"Dirk, how many did you have to drink?" A God awful familiar voice asked. You groan and push him away, "None of your God damn business Bro." You growl.   
He barely moved, "I need your help." He says.   
"Haha, big tough iron Bro, needs weak old Dirky's help?" You chuckle and slid out of your seat, tossing a few twenties on the counter and walking away.   
"Yes, I do. It's an emergency." Bro said.   
You walk out, Bro on your heels.   
"If this is some demented way for you to..." you stop when you see Bro's jeep and what lay inside of it.   
You vomited on the parking lot as you stare at the lifeless bloodied corpse of Feferi Peixes.


	7. I Warned You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this was it...everything....the entire story....you couldn't believe it. No you wouldn't...Dirk...please...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn you, so...well...here you go...another chapter. It just keeps getting better from here.

Jake===> You forgive him

You knew exactly where Dirk went everytime he went after a fight. You didn't want him to be angry at you. You didn't want to BE angry at him.  
"I'm going out Roxy!" You called over your shoulder. She didn't reply.  
You pull out your phone and dialed Dirk's number. The My Little Pony Theme song always made you smile. It went to voicemail.  
"Dirk..." you silently walk down the streets towards the bar, the MLP song stuck in your head. 

Dirk===> Is that a dead body? 

"Why did you kill her?" You ask once your stomach eased...you gagged at the pain in your throat. Bro didn't reply.  
"Why didn't you call the cops?" You asked. What you meant was why did you come to me?  
"They couldn't know what I've done." Bro climbed in the vehicle.  
Really, you wanted to help him, but this?...was too much. 

Jake===> Was that Dirk? 

You came up to the bar only to find it empty, the barista told you that Dirk went with another person, they drove off not too long ago.  
"Seriously Dirk, pick up your phone." Finally you hear Dirk's voice, "Jake?"  
"Yeah where are -"  
"Listen Jake, I'm sorry but something came up, I gotta go." Dirk hung up. You sniffled, did he not want to see you? Was that it? Was he done? Tears of the possibilities stung your eyes.  
You sank to your knees and cried. 

Dirk===> God this woman stinks. 

You sat worriedly in Bro's Jeep. The woman was moved to the trunk and placed in a body bag, but still, the smell of blood and bubblegum perfume was overpowering.  
Bro said that you could bury her in the woods outside of town. He looked shameful and exhausted.  
You couldn't push for further information, so you looked down, regretting everything.


	8. Burying a Dead Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start fiddling with your hands.  
> "You worry to much." Bro's words did nothing to ease you. You continued shoveling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spoil you too much. Enjoy!!

Dirk===> Curses

By helping, Bro let you do all the hard work while he smoked a cigarette. You hated the smell of tobacco.  
"What now?" You wipe your brow, sweating from the shoveling.  
"We burn it. Getting rid of the evidence." Bro said calmly. He was calm through this entire process. You just couldn't understand.  
"Dirt doesn't burn." You explained.  
Bro chuckled, "It hasn't rained in seven weeks, the ground is dry, just wait." He flicks the butt onto the soil and watched as small flames sparked from the ashes.  
You were captivated by the red and orange flames when something slammed into the back of your head.  
"I'm sorry I just needed you to do the dirty work little bro." you collapsed.  
The last words you hear was, "I couldn't have you ratting me out now could I?" Before everything went black. 

Jake===> Dirk didn't return last night. 

72 voice messages. 193 texts, and 8 hours of pacing.  
"Calm down Jake, I bet someone just took him to get washed up and he stayed at their house." Roxy sat down on the sofa.  
"But..." you trailed off. A lot of people liked Dirk, it could've been one of their friends. But it was 7 oclock...they would've returned him by now.  
"Jake, get some sleep, I'll wake you up if he shows up." You suddenly realize how tired you are and nod, walking to your bedroom before collapsing into a deep sleep. 

Roxy===> You were going to kick Dirk's ass

"Hey Kanaya is Dirk there?" You asked over the phone.  
"I'm Sorry But He's Not Here." She replies.  
"Okay, thanks anyways." You hung up the phone. That's nine houses...Dirk where are you? 

Dirk===> My head hurts

"Wh-where am I?" You attempt to sit up but realize you couldn't.  
"Don't worry, an ambulance is on the way...I guess I didn't hit you hard enough." Bro said. You blinked, what?  
"What happened?" You want to rub your aching forehead, but for some reason, you couldn't.  
"It's okay, rest now, soon it will be all a dream..."


	9. The Worst Things In Life Comes In Threes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You sat beside him, clutching his hand. Tears stream down your face....you just want to hug him...and tell him everything. But now...you dont know if you'll ever get the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves mates. *tears will hopefully fall* idk I can't see through the screen. But be prepared

Jake===> You got a call from Dave. 

Dirk was rushed to the hospital, Bro said he got hit by a drunk driver who was now in the police station in questioning.  
So many thoughts can rush through your mind in a split second.  
"I'm on my way." You hung up your phone and practically bolted out the door and onto Dirk's motorcycle and sped down the streets.  
Please be okay, please be okay...please....

Dave====> This can't be happening. 

You sat in the waiting room on the sixth floor of the hospital. Bro was speaking to the doctors of the incident and you were ordered to wait like a fucking dog.  
John had arrived just a few minutes ago, and was holding your hand tightly. His presence felt soothing.  
You overheard some of the nurses at the front desk say, a severely damaged amygdala and a minor bruised prefrontal cortex. You didn't know what the heck that meant, but it didn't sound good.  
You sighed heavily, still holding John's hand and prayed for the best. 

Roxy===> Try Not to Kill Dirk...

Jake promised to call when things cleared up, you wanted to go with him, but didn't.  
Hospitals made you uneasy, and you couldn't handle if something bad happened...  
Jane came over and attempted to cheer you up, but failed miserably. Instead she gave up and let you pace in your own worry and depression. How girlfriend-ly of her.  
She cooked some ramen noodles for the both of you and told you to sit down. The moment you did, you felt a wave of emotions crash onto you chest.  
You leaned on Jane's shoulder and cried. 

Jake====> Get to the Hospital. 

Dirk forgot to refuel the bike and it stopped aruptedly as you were going around 40 miles per hour, causing the bike and you to slid some yards.  
Your vision was blurred, and you hardly felt the pain as you abandoned the bike and ran down the road.  
Early morning rush hour forced you to run on the sidewalks. Some people yelled at you to watch where you were going, but you hardly acknowledged their presence.  
All you needed was to see Dirk...before it's too late.


	10. Oh My God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are you going to do? You are so fucked up. You can't tell anyone. Not even Jake? A part of you asks. Definately not Jake. You just got him back, there was no way in Hell you can lose him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee boi!   
> Another chapter is here...  
> I think I might be high on something, idk, well here it is my fellow peeps. Enjoy

Present Day  
Dirk===> Migraines are the worst

You press your thumb and forefinger on the bridge of your nose, gently nudging the bottom rim of your shades   
Memories...the truth of that night hits your brain and rattles your senses. Jake wraps an arm around you. It was then you realize you were crying. Shit. Striders never cry in front of people. God this just turned awkward. You want to push Jake away and run, but for some reason you lean into his warmth.   
"That's all we know." Roxy said, her face was worried. And how you feel like a huge duck for worrying everybody.   
You try to remember other details but flashes of pain stop you.   
"Who found me?" You asked.   
"I assume Bro was the one who found your bloodied ass on the street." Dave growled. Why was he acting like an ass all of the sudden.   
"Then?" You press.   
"Dave called everyone." Roxy said. Jake was surprisingly silent throughout all of this.   
Could you tell him the truth? No...no not yet.   
"I'll have to thank Bro." You mutter. By thank you meant kick his ass to a pulp. Well attempt to. It was Bro who taught you how to fight and he was tremendously more built for a fight than your skinny ass.   
"I'll go make us some brownies, we all need a kick start." Jane said and walked into the kitchen.   
"John and I have dinner plans." Dave announced.   
"Seriously Dave? I just got home, and you're already bailing on me!" You complained, though you hardly cared. Yes your little bro meant a lot, but he knew that John kept him happy, and you wanted Dave to be happy.   
Jake kissed your forehead, "I'm happy you're safe my love." He said. You smiled and pulled him in closer, your lips meeting in a hungry yet soft kiss.   
God, you missed this. You missed Jake. He pulled apart slowly. Your eyes met, even through your shades, "I love you Jake." You said.   
Did you mean it? Fuck yeah you did, you love this little pumpkin and refused to let him slip through your fingers again.   
"I love you too Dirk." With that he took your face in his warm hands and kissed you deeply.


	11. The Haunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You stand there petrified, as the figure giggles silently, her black curls bouncing everytime she moved her head.  
> "You killed me Dirk, time to face your punis)(ment!"

Dirk====> Lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. 

It wasn't the first time you and Jake got...intimate, but it was new to you after the accident.  
So you lay there, covered by only a sheet listening to Jake breathing and unable to fall asleep. Deciding to drink some orange soda to calm yourself down, you slide on your boxers and pants before navigating towards the kitchen.  
Opening the fridge to reveal numerous boxes of orange soda, you take a can when you hear someone giggle.  
It sent chills down your spine. This was rare, you hardly believed in the supernatural and you were a Strider...nothing scared you.  
But....  
"O)( Dirk!" A girl said. You didn't recognize the voice but it didn't matter, you already had a guess on who it was.  
"Dirk, please don't ignore me." The voice came more clearer now.  
Hell no, you were not going to run like a fucking baby because of some haunting.  
It was until you felt something place a hand on the shoulder did you freak out.  
"You okay Dirk? You look like you've seen a ghost." Jake asked, he was dressed in his shorts and one of your white tees which was actually quite big on him.  
"Oh, it's nothing, don't worry." You kiss him lightly before leaning on the counter and popped open the soda tab.  
"So, what are you doing up?" You asked as you take a sip.  
"I don't know, wanna go hiking?" Jake asked. You snorted, "I'm good." You reply.  
He stepped closer and leaned his chin on your chest and smiled. God why was he so cute.  
Setting your soda down on the counter you wrap your arms around him, and leaned down locking lips.  
"What time is it?" You asked.  
"Around four I imagine." Jake didn't look away from you. How you adored the color of his eyes, like glittering emeralds.  
"Why don't we, go back to bed, and watch a movie or something." You suggest.  
"Hmm, sounds tempting Strider." Jake's grin widens.  
"Or we can forget the movie and find other things to entertain ourselves with?" You kiss the tip of his nose.  
Jake's face goes bright red.  
"W)(at? Fis)(y got your tongue?" You tensed, but for some reason Jake didn't hear the voice.  
"I'm starting to get worried mate...are you quite alright?" Jake asked, taking a step back.  
"No, I'm okay. A bit drowsy that's all." You assured. You could taste that God awful lie on your tongue, Jake knew it too...it made you feel sick.


	12. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You want to tell him. It's been killing you, but..me would he trust you if you did? Would he still look at you the same way? There was just so much to explain...and so little time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long has it been since I last updated, 11, 12 days? Well doesn't matter, here is Chapter 12 for ya.

Bro===> Run away

You left town right after you met with Dirk. Hoped on the nearest plane and abandoned your little bros.  
You didn't feel guilty about the murder. You had to, Feferi found out about something that she should've never found out about...  
It has been six days since you left and already you hated your new place, too clean and plastic.  
Sliding on your jacket and all too famous shades, you step outside of your temporary apartment and breathe the wet dirty city air. It was a wonderful 63 degrees Farenheit that morning. Getting into your jeep you drive out of the parking lot with a bad feeling in your gut. Something was not right. 

Dirk===> Aw Shiet...

News of Feferi's disappearance caused you almost to hurl everything you consume. You lied once again to Jake saying it was just a side effect of the prescription you were given at the hospital. He didn't believe you.  
"Does this have anything to do with Feferi's disappearence?" He asked.  
Nearly choking again you violently shake your head, "No, no I just have a stomach bug." You ground out.  
"Dirk, you know you can tell me anything right?" Jake said. God why does he have to use that tone? You shake your head again, a bit less violent. "I'm fine." You retorted. Jake looked hurt, and you wanted to punch yourself in the face.  
"I'm sorry." You try to ease the pain of your own words but Jake still looked hurt.  
"You've been distant lately Dirk, I don't k om if it's your memory loss or what, but...you seem really...far away and I don't know how to reach you." Jake said.  
It wasn't because of your amnesia because quite frankly you've been remembering quite a lot lately. So you couldn't play that card.  
"I'm sorry." You repeat not knowing what to say.  
Then....it all came out....in a huge deep pile of mess....words became a slurred jumbled heap. By the time you were finish Jake had turned pale.  
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. What are you going to do now? You just told Jake...  
He remained a pale statue until you asked, "I shouldn't have done it....you probably hate me now..." Tears started pouring down your face. Screw the whole 'Strider's Don't Cry' thing.  
"Dirk...I...I need some air." With that, Jake ran out the door.


	13. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk==> I'm sorry Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with my yeeyee juice, I rewrote this chapter like eleven times so hopefully I get it right.

Jake===> What the hell were you going to do?? 

Roxy is starting to get worried about you.  
You cannot look at Dirk properly.  
You want to run from it all...yet something keeps holding you back.  
Dirk has apologized multiple times already, he looks so helpless, yet what are you going to do??? Forgive him?  
To be honest, you hate where this is going. You hate Bro for bringing Dirk into this. You check your phone. A missed call.  
"Hey, Jake. I just wanted to let you know what I'm leaving town, don't ask where, but I don't know if I'll be back....I love you." You want to scream. This. This was how it was all going to end. Through a fucking phone??  
No, no you were not going to let that happen.  
You run out the door.

Dirk===> Trust Bro cause he is smart

Bull, Bro is a dumbass.  
Sitting in his car, wearing a hoodie and sunglasses, while he takes you to who knows where. He said that he was worried about me, going to jail and all.  
Like, bruh, what the actual fuck, you're scared for ME because I helped you?  
You honestly want to punch him in the face, and you did...until he blocked it.  
Fuck it all to hell...  
You didn't like putting all of this pressure on Jake, you hating seeing him hurt like this.

What could you do though? Time travel? Erase his memories too?   
All you want is to kiss him, and say it's going to be all right. But now?? Nothing will ever be alright, nothing will be the same. And this fucking guy beside you is the reason why.   
"The police are investigating, I don't want to see you in jail." Was Bro's excuse.   
"I'd rather be in jail." Was your response. Then he brought up Jake, and said how Jake would live.  
You crumpled, you can't live like this, and you certainly can't put Jake through what you already have.   
Does he even want to see you? Does he even care?   
Please tell me he still cares....  
Please.....


	14. Not an Update Author's Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha...I'm sorry

So I have some good news and some bad news. Uh...I'm lost with this story, I love where it's going but I don't even know what I'm writing half the time. 

I will end up restarting, but will keep some of the first chapters. 

It has been a rough few weeks trying to find out what the heck is going to happen next. I don't even know at this point. 

I've started on a new story plot. Most of the beginning will stay the same. Just not the major plot twists and all...

So...this is goodbye for now. 

Thank you for all your support. 

Much love. 

~IACat8693

**Author's Note:**

> Updates Randomly. I figured so I don't forget, so don't freak out.


End file.
